The Vuvuzela

The Vuvuzela

Let's face it. The Vuvuzela is just trying to be this:

 A Trumpet

It fails horribly.

The sound that emanates from this horrible, plastic, pseudo-instrument, is akin to that of the sound one hears if one crawled inside a trash compactor filled with the bloated bodies of beached whales.
It's ghastly. It's annoying. It's a Vuvuzela. It's proudly South African.

Yes. Proudly South African. The Vuvuzela is an apt metaphor for South Africa.

It's plastic: it's 'fake', and badly made, and not at all good for the environment, much like South Africa.
They're made in ghastly colours: trying to display our rainbow nation, but it's just a fake painted exterior (just like South Africa's 'rainbow nation' lie.
It's trying to be something it's not, much how South Africa tries to be a first world country.
It's loud, just like the majority of South Africans.
It's annoying, just like the majority of South Africans.
It makes my ears bleed, just like Julius Malema...and the majority of South Africans.
It's an annoyance to the world... Just like the majority of South Africans, specifically South African politicians.

This is the sound of Africa? Wow...It's news to me. I've lived in Africa my entire life, and I've never had to be tortured by this sound before.
Why does South Africa choose to label itself so badly? I'm so ashamed to be South African.
What about the GOOD sounds from Africa, what about the truly African instruments? When I think of the sound of Africa, I think driving tribal drum beats, or the great South African Jazz artists, I certainly do not think of the Vuvuzela.

This is the sound I hear when I think of the sound of South Africa.



Come on South Africa, why don't you promote a more positive image to the world. Stop being a joke. I'll even help.

1. Change the government. The ANC is rubbish and does nothing for the people, they're a corrupt party.
2. Stop Malema from talking and singing. He's just inciting a race war.
3. Stop robbing and raping the tourists.
4. Promote the actual good parts of South Africa, not this plastic trumpet joke crap.
5. And finally, get this little difference into your head

Musician:

 Jimmy Dludlu: An awesome South African Jazz Musician

 Not Musician:

Please, put the instruments in the hands of musicians, because I'm sick of your substance-less noise.

New Years Lamentations

Once again another year has past, and for a while there, back in 2009, I wasn't sure that we were going to make it..

2009 started out as a year of promise.
It was my first year out of the evil confines of high school, finally I was free to be me, to do whatever I wanted, free from wearing a school uniform and free from having to hear a Christian prayer every morning (which I'm pretty sure was illegal, but who cares about laws here in South Africa).

Barack Obama became the president of the USA, filling the world with hope and promise, finally the self proclaimed global leader, actually had a leader who could speak with charisma and conviction. Although I'm pretty sure most of America was just happy that they had a president who could speak at all.
After 8 years of George W Bush, America, and the world, needed a change. A change they could believe in...

Barack Obama: A beacon for hope.

However, looking back on 2009, it wasn't all that great at all.
I never really understood how easy school was until I was done with it. Of course the work was always easy, but the constant hand holding was almost comforting. I never really had to make any decisions by myself, not any major decisions anyway. I'm not that great with handling responsibility, I'm too pessimistic. With every option I'm given, I see too many negative sides, which makes it difficult to choose anything. I never knew this about myself during high school, but after having to work a dead end job and actually having to think about my future, I started seeing way too many negatives, leading to a whole lot of stress.

On the political side, 2009 seemed like a disaster to me. Not only here in South Africa, which I will get to later, but globally. Obama, whom I thought would do great things, gave a resemblance to Martin Luther King, Jr, a charismatic African-American who had hope in the world, and instead of complaining, he sought to better life, not only for him, or his people, but for everybody. Obama made many promises, like ending the war, or closing Guantanamo Bay etc. but these weren't met. Not only did he basically do nothing, but he won a Nobel Peace Prize, for that nothingness.
My jaw just about hit the floor when I heard that, "For what?", I cried in disbelief. It's my belief he got the prize simply for not being a Bush.

Barack Nobama: Not so much going on here...

 

2009 was also a year of incredible stupidity, especially when concerning American conservatives.
Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Orly Taitz and Rush Limbaugh, all made some of the most idiotic comments I have ever heard. I have no idea how these people are allowed to actually make public statements, it should be illegal to spread such stupidity. From believing an obviously fake Kenyan birth certificate for Obama, to hoping Obama fails, it makes no sense to me how these people are in the public eye. I thought that defamation of character (ie. lies about Obama), and treason (ie. hoping he fails) were illegal in the US. Maybe I just don't understand the legal system, since I was under the assumption that it was based around truth and evidence, although I guess that was disproved when OJ wasn't convicted for murder...

The Axis Of Dumbass: Beck, Palin,Taitz, Limbaugh and O'Reilly 

Back in my home country of South Africa, we had a new president elected as well, Jacob Zuma, who currently has 3 wives, and I believe another on the way. In my opinion, this man is the definition of stupid. His highest academic achievement was 3rd grade, Plato must be spinning in his grave. He was accused of rape, and most likely did it. He was involved in some shady deals, with one participant being imprisoned (odd that only one person was found guilty for this, as I'm pretty sure it takes more than one person to even have a fraudulent deal). Through all of this, the man still became president.
"How?", you ask. I'll tell you how. He won a simple popularity contest. He sang and danced his way to victory, literally. His trademark song about arming yourself with a machine gun, garnered the support of millions of youth still under the assumption that the struggle is still on.
Although, to his credit, at least this president is better than the last in the sense that he isn't an AIDS denialist.

Jacob Zuma: Here wearing traditional Zulu dress, and tradional Nikes.

 

So many more idiotic things have happened in the world of politics, not only in my country, but abroad too. Notice how I haven't even touched on the economic collapse, I don't think I even have the space! I'll probably touch on it another time...

As far as I can tell, 2009 was a pretty shit year, and no matter how optimistic I want to be and say that 2010 will be better, I'm sure it will be just as bad, if not worse.
Only one week into the new year so I guess it's too early to tell, but in 52 weeks we will know for sure.

My New Years Resolution this year: Be more of an asshole. This way, if I succeed in keeping it I can be happy that I have finally kept a New Years Resolution, and if I fail, I can be happy that I was a better person this year. It's a win - win situation.

We Have Lift Off

I was always told as a child that I had to keep my mind active, or it would atrophy. Never has this had so much impact on me, until now. After doing basically nothing for an entire year after completing high school, I have either lost some intelligence I once had, or gained a completely new neurological disorder.

Either way, I see that a blog could be a positive thing. In the first case, writing could keep my mind active in a creative way, in order to keep those neurons firing, and if I do have a neurological disorder, perhaps putting my thoughts down could keep me somewhat sane. Release is meant to be healthy after all.

So here we have it. A blog. I never thought this would happen, especially after laughing at terms like "blogosphere". It always seemed so tacky and pointless to me, but it seems that if you can't beat them, join them. At the very least it provides me a platform to insult others, or to lead other people to have thoughts they did not have before, or even insult me. Advantages all around!

I realize this is quite boring for a blog post, but to be honest, I don't read any blogs, so this is quite new to me in both theory and application...

I guess that I will add to this when I get time and inspiration, and that this first post might disappear altogether due to it sucking...

I'll end this off with a quote, which may in time give you some perspective about the content of this blog.
"I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!" - George Carlin