The Vuvuzela

The Vuvuzela

Let's face it. The Vuvuzela is just trying to be this:

 A Trumpet

It fails horribly.

The sound that emanates from this horrible, plastic, pseudo-instrument, is akin to that of the sound one hears if one crawled inside a trash compactor filled with the bloated bodies of beached whales.
It's ghastly. It's annoying. It's a Vuvuzela. It's proudly South African.

Yes. Proudly South African. The Vuvuzela is an apt metaphor for South Africa.

It's plastic: it's 'fake', and badly made, and not at all good for the environment, much like South Africa.
They're made in ghastly colours: trying to display our rainbow nation, but it's just a fake painted exterior (just like South Africa's 'rainbow nation' lie.
It's trying to be something it's not, much how South Africa tries to be a first world country.
It's loud, just like the majority of South Africans.
It's annoying, just like the majority of South Africans.
It makes my ears bleed, just like Julius Malema...and the majority of South Africans.
It's an annoyance to the world... Just like the majority of South Africans, specifically South African politicians.

This is the sound of Africa? Wow...It's news to me. I've lived in Africa my entire life, and I've never had to be tortured by this sound before.
Why does South Africa choose to label itself so badly? I'm so ashamed to be South African.
What about the GOOD sounds from Africa, what about the truly African instruments? When I think of the sound of Africa, I think driving tribal drum beats, or the great South African Jazz artists, I certainly do not think of the Vuvuzela.

This is the sound I hear when I think of the sound of South Africa.



Come on South Africa, why don't you promote a more positive image to the world. Stop being a joke. I'll even help.

1. Change the government. The ANC is rubbish and does nothing for the people, they're a corrupt party.
2. Stop Malema from talking and singing. He's just inciting a race war.
3. Stop robbing and raping the tourists.
4. Promote the actual good parts of South Africa, not this plastic trumpet joke crap.
5. And finally, get this little difference into your head

Musician:

 Jimmy Dludlu: An awesome South African Jazz Musician

 Not Musician:

Please, put the instruments in the hands of musicians, because I'm sick of your substance-less noise.